The most important conversation to obtain is boundaries! Lubes with Added Stuff: So today lubricants come with all sorts of extras added into them. Things that tingle and cool or loosen up, properties offering more blood-flow and further arousal, and lubes with relaxing properties made designed for anal sex. These are the ones I would recommend you are trying. A German company, Pjur, use a selection of anal sex lubes (both water and silicone-based) .